“If you’re trying to get pregnant, you should actually have sex”

When I first started thinking about getting pregnant after being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, I was eager to hear from other women who had succeeded in this goal. At the time there wasn’t much social media, but I did find a great book called Arthritis, Pregnancy and the Path to Parenthood. It contained quotes and advice from real women, and I found it invaluable.

But I also discovered a problem: the book started by talking about the possibility of changing some of your medications before getting pregnant, and then skipped straight to being pregnant. But wait! If I stop taking my meds, won’t I flare up? And if I’m in pain, how can I ever get pregnant? Is there a chapter missing from this book about trying to get pregnant while living with arthritis?

That’s the question I asked Iris Zink, a rheumatology nurse who recently wrote a book with Jenny Thorn Palter about intimacy and chronic illness. (The book is called “Sex – Interrupted” and you can read my review of it here!) Their book recommends many alternatives to intercourse – which I think is generally good advice for maintaining intimacy in a relationship while dealing with a chronic illness! But what if you want to start a family? If you’re trying to get pregnant, you actually have to have sex!

Iris and I decided to have a discussion about a topic we haven’t seen anyone else talk about: the challenges many women face when actually trying to conceive while living with a chronic illness. I share my personal experiences, and Iris shares her expert advice this video!